The power of small wins - why celebrating progress matters

As parents and carers , it can be easy to focus on the things our young people haven't managed to do.

They didn't get dressed on time. They didn't finish their homework. They gave up when something was difficult. They didn't behave in the way we hoped they would.

And when we are tired, worried or trying to get through a busy day, these things can feel very big.

But what if we deliberately started looking for the little wins? Because sometimes, those little moments of progress are where resilience begins.

A small win doesn't have to be something huge or impressive. It might be:

• Getting dressed independently

• Trying something they usually avoid

• Using a calming strategy

• Talking about how they feel

• Trying again after making a mistake

• Making a positive choice in the moment

• Saying sorry if needed

To someone else, these things might seem small. To a young person who has been finding things difficult, they can be enormous achievements.

Every time a young person experiences success, they have an opportunity to develop the belief 'I can do difficult thing.'

That belief doesn't appear over night. It grows through repeated experiences. A young person who has struggled with something for a long time may not suddenly wake up one morning feeling confident. Instead, they might have lots of small experiences where they discover 'I managed that'.

That is resilience developing over time.

Something we expect progress to look like a straight line. But it rarely does. A young person might manage something independently on Monday, need lots of support on Tuesday and then manage part of it again on Wednesday.

That doesn't necessarily mean they've gone backwards. Progress can wobble. There will be good days, difficult days and days somewhere in between.

Be specific with your praise. 'Good job' is lovely to hear, but specific praise can help young people understand what they have actually achieved. Instead of 'well done' you could try 'I noticed you kept trying even when it was difficult'. This helps young people connect success with effort, perseverance, problem solving and coping, rather than believing they are only successful when they get something right.

It is important to make sure that goals set are small. Sometimes a young person isn't achieving because expectations are too high. If a task feels overwhelming, try breaking it down.

Rather than 'Go tidy your room' try 'Let's start by putting the clothes in the basket'. The aim isn't to lower expectations forever. It's to help the young person experience enough success to believe that they can move forward.

Don't underestimate the power of noticing. One of the simplest things we can do is notice.

Notice when your young person tries. Notice when they manage something independently. Notice when they recover from a difficult moment. Notice when they make a better choice. Notice when they keep going. And tell them.

Sometimes young people don't recognise their own progress because they are too busy focusing on what went wrong. We can become the person who helps them see it.

Resilience isn't usually built through one huge achievement. It's built through lots of little moments.

A child trying again. A teenager asking for help. A young person managing something that previously felt impossible. A mistake followed by another attempt. A difficult morning followed by getting through the school gates.

These moments might not look significant from the outside. But they're building something important on the inside.

So this week, look for the small wins. Look for the effort, courage, perseverance, problem solving and progress that might otherwise go unnoticed. Because sometimes the smallest win is the first step towards a much bigger one.

And every step counts.